but he refuses to move out of his parents house and in with me. We've been together for 3 years. Everytime I try to talk with him about it, he tells me he im pressuring him and just laughs in my face. Im so sick of it. I am at a point where i want to have a real relationship, co-dependence with someone, and eventually get married. I feel like he is wasting my time. I love him, yes, but he is just so immature .He always throws it back in my face saying that i just want someone to protect me, that i just want cheaper rent, and that he doesnt believe people should live together till marriage. I always feel like I have to pitch a sales presentation everytime I want him to just sleep with me, god forbid he sleeps over more than 1 time a month. He is 26, and I am 23. Everytime I talk to him anymore, I feel annoyed. The other night I tried to bring it up, and he shot down all the reasons why I wanted it and i finally just said " you know, I should NOT have to beg, or sell this idea, if you are so disqusted by the idea of living with me, than we won't. But im not going to continue to see you if its going to be like this. I am not happy."
omg what do i do? everytime he calls me I just dont even feel like answering the phone. because i know he wont listen, and our relationship will never ever evolve.
Obviously and clearly, this guy of yours is so "not ready" to move out and not ready to experience what the rest of the world would call-- "independence living". It's like he's a full grown bird, but not quite sure if he should leave the nest yet and can't imagine the idea of being away from his mommy and daddy. Why leave the nest and look for food on your own when mommy and daddy continues to bring food and feed you? That's just his way of rationalizing it and seems to even get a little agitated and annoyed everytime you "pressure" him to move out. At least that's what he calls it, right? It's funny how you mentioned that everytime you ask him to move out he suddenly seems so "self-righteous" about believing that "people should not live together till marriage" and goes on to cry like a lil' boy of how you just want someone "to protect you" and "just want cheaper rent". Unbelievable how this guy of yours have such justifiable reasons (so he thinks) to make certain that you are convinced that what he say are so logical and rational as if he wants to give you a guilt trip. Doesn't it seems so though? God, you must really place this guy on a pedestal for him to lash out at you like that and go as far as giving in to him almost everytime. That certainly is a weakness that he seems to enjoy taking advantage of.....of course, without you consciously being aware of it until now, since I brought it up.
I understand intentions like his kind and excuses for their lack of independence and "afraid" to leave the nest are ways of always justifying their so-called "rational reasons." Still a lil' scared boy who isn't ready to become a real man yet and NEVER try to turn a boy into a man when he is still feeding from his momma's breast.
Good luck with the man on the pedestal...so self-righteous and almost god-like. Most guys can't wait to go out into the world and live life independently, with or without a girl, but this guy of yours seems weird in that way. It's beyond my comprehensions. Sorry if I couldn't be of more help but instead seems more critical of this guy of yours behavior and his lil' boy image. The only other thing I could think of why he justify his not wanting to move out is because he is not ready to seriously commit himself into this relationship as of yet and deep down inside, still wants his options open as far as you being "the one " and may even have second thought. Who knows?
btw, I am 26 yrs old too and had been out on my own since the age of 17.....Thank God. Not that I don't love my parents because I do love them dearly, but I couldn't wait to go out on my own and discover what the real world and independence living were all about.
Oooh...well I wanna be positive, but it doesn't sound too good. I think he's got some stuff of his own to work out before he can really make you happy.
I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to present a sales pitch to get him to be interested. He is 26 years old and should not be still living at home with his mother and father. He should WANT to live with you, or at least not at home. He does seem very immature in a few different ways. I think that what you said about not continuing seeing him is good because you're being honest by telling him you're not happy. Maybe you should spend some time apart and try to cool off before you two tackle this issue again.
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